Once-ler Passed Over To Lead Trump’s EPA

Oklahoma City—Tweeting from the Lerkim of Once-ler Tower, the enigmatic businessman released a flurry of tweets directed at President-Elect Donald Trump and new cabinet appointee, Scott Pruitt. The Once-ler met with Trump and was considered a top pick to head up the Environmental Protection Agency.

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When asked for comment, members of Donald Trump’s presidential transition team stated, “President-Elect Donald Trump has great respect for the Once-ler. Thneeds are wonderful things which everyone needs. Given The Once-ler’s track record of biggering his factories and biggering his money, there may still be a role for him in this administration.”

Tim Lepczyk

Writer, Technologist, and Librarian.

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