It’s a pity Stephen Hawking can’t do sarcasm.

I thought he was joking about bailing you out
until I saw the picture of you
and the sheep
in the morning paper. Were those my boots
you had on it?
Did the hipsters beat you up
because you are more ironic than they are?

You just stared at your feet and said some shit
about the molecules dancing
and how you had just solved physics.
I always forget that thursday isnt the weekend
in the real world.  You closed the sidewalk
off to pedestrians last night.
With a glitter covered safety cone.

Once he started yelling at me in latin,
i wasn’t sure what we were fighting about anymore…
He’s a nude model. What could you have done
to make him feel awkward?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song. Sometimes,
in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.