Senator Chuck Grassley Self-Identifies as Ferengi

Washington D.C.—The news today was not Senator Chuck Grassley’s remarks that getting rid of “the estate tax [which] recognizes the people that are investing. As opposed to those that are just spending every darn penny they have, whether it’s on booze or women or movies.” Instead, the buzz was about Grassley himself.

“Once you have their money, you never give it back.” Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, 1.

“We live in a free society. It’s time I stopped hiding who I am. Deep down, I’m Ferengi,” said Senator Grassley. “If you look at the tenets of the Rules of Acquisition, you’ll see they closely align to Republican party values.”

A quick perusal of the Rules of Acquisition by our editorial team find merit in Grassley’s claim. The following examples do seem ingrained in GOP policy.

  • “A deal is a deal (is a deal)…until a better one comes along.”
  • “War is good for business.”
  • “Females and finances don’t mix.”
  • “There is no honor in poverty.”
  • “Deep down, everyone’s a Ferengi.”

“To my fellow Ferengi out there,” said Grassley, “now is the time to show your ears with pride.”