Academic Consultant Doesn’t Know Why Professors Won’t Be His Twitter Friends

suit-consultantBoston—Rookie academic consultant, Nick Sileon, is frustrated. After years of working in higher education and blogging on the topic, academics don’t wants to be his friend since he’s become a consultant.

“I just don’t get it,” said Sileon, “I’m trying to fix a broken system and they seem totally uninterested.” His recent book, Technology Tenure-Hack, a Washington Times notable book of the year, outlines how teachers can be replaced with cybernetic text-books, the rise of wearable learning devices, and a lottery system for credentialing students with good hygiene.

“I used to have tons of friends who were professors. We’d see each other at conferences. Go out for a drink. Tweet each other ironic phrases. But, for some reason they’ve faded away.” Sileon, whose Twitter following is approaching 10,000 appeared dejected. “EdTech guys love me. Twenty-four-hour news channels love me. I’ve spoken at numerous conferences. In the new future, credentials won’t matter.”

When asked about decreased levels in state and federal funding affecting budgets in higher education, Sileon stared with a look that contained annoyance and exasperation. “The whole system is broken,” Sileon said, “and our job is to completely dismantle it until it looks like an Apple Store had a baby with Peter Thiel. Why is that so hard to understand?” Turning back to his phone, Sileon grew quiet and focused on the screen, hopeful for a new follower from the professoriate.

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