My Flickr Writing Exercise

Here’s what I came up with last night for the writing exercise.  Somewhere along the line I started over thinking instead of simply writing.  It was the part about the young woman staying with the couple.  I felt I needed a reason for her to be there and started thinking about it, then editing.  After a few more sentences I lost my inspiration/motivation.

First Attempt:

Since the first of October, I’d ask the kid to bring in the bike.  Put it away.  Treat things with respect.  I will Pappa, he’d say to me.  As soon as I’m done playing.  The excuses piled up.

Second Attempt:
I drive past the bicycle and pretend not to see it.  Louise spent Autumn with us on the farm.  A bit of sunshine for my wife and me.  I was hip deep into the harvest and Rose, my wife, was managing the small store we ran.  Time spent together felt more like clocking in and out with a co-worker, too tired to say much, too tired to go anywhere.  Hell, it was at least a forty-five minute drive to get anywhere.  So, when Louise showed asking for a place to stay, we thought why not?  What’s the worst that could happen?  She was a friend of my niece’s and needed a place to stay.
We opened up one of our children’s old rooms.  Rose put on fresh sheets and smoothed out a quilt.  Her eyes, Rose’s, seemed to brighten and it was like something started to lift between us.  I tried to focus on what that thing was, but it seemed too vague, somewhere between a longheld silence and a routine.  Either way, I was glad to see it going.

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